♥
There’s
something about committed romantic relationships that just bring out the best (and
worst!) in you. Romantic because that’s the closest you’ll ever get to another
human being. Committed because somehow you’ve gone past the stage of thriving
on impressions and fantasies; you’re living the real thing. That’s when you
notice the awkward way he laughs, or the annoying way she chews her food. You
become less patient with her inability to keep to time like you did when you
just wanted to impress her and seem accommodating. You’re angry, you’re
arguing, and refusing to let little things slip by. Congratulations! Now you’re
in a relationship.
If
you’re like me, you start to feel like an unwilling little monster and you wonder
where the real you went. You probably have always thought of yourself as nice,
sweet, easy going, understanding and really accommodating. And maybe you are. It’s
just that you never imagined that you’d have any ‘issues’ with the love of your
life. After all you get along well with everyone else at the office and at home;
you’re even nice to strangers and everybody talks about what an amazing person
you are!
Why
can’t your relationship be less demanding?
Well,
it’s something I call the law of proximity.
The closer it is to you the less patience you have to deal with it. You
just do not expect that such crude behaviour be exhibited by someone so close and
dear to you. This is further heightened by the fact that you’re in each other’s
faces most of the time. And of course there’s that connection and chemistry
that somehow demands better.
Relax,
really, it’s normal.
Well,
almost.
If
you’re fighting over everything and can’t see eye to eye about anything (how
did ya’ll hook up in the first place?) you may have to critically appraise the
whole thing.
But
if you’re sincerely both giving your best but still see those flaws, you’re
just human. The truth is there isn’t any such thing as sunshine, roses and
loving all the time. Well, yes, you love your partner no matter what but the ‘feeling’
of love doesn’t really have a mind of its own. It’s simple; you ‘feel’ more
loving towards your beau when he’s on his best behaviour. You ‘feel’ like
giving your sweetheart a warm hug when she’s just a real good girl. But then
she gets cranky or upset about the plates you left unwashed since last night
and you ‘feel’ like storming out and hanging with the boys. Or he forgets your
appointment and you ‘feel’ like giving him the silent treatment. Get the point?
It
is life’s way of forcing you to grow in your relationship. Looking at life
through rose coloured glasses doesn’t do anybody any good. You’re going be
living with a real person the rest of your life not some Barbie doll that’s
never going to change, fart, or annoy you. And yes he won’t always do everything
right.
It
is the way of the world. We adjust, we understand, we compromise, we love, we
care, we fight, we make up, we live…
If not, then what’s the point?
Roy
